Memorable Quotes

Co-workers and I had a quote war.  I lost.  Here are some of the more memorable quotes thrown my way.

Stephen Bishop-- I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.”

What I would like to say when the head of HP passes on “I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

There is nothing more beautiful than sarcasm. That is definitely an overstatement but it should balance the moronic comment which says that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. Now, whoever made that statement was desperately in need of a rectal broomstick extraction procedure.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.- Ashleigh Brilliant

Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them.  ~Dion Boucicault

Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.  ~William Faulkner

Oscar Levant -- Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Leonard Louis Levinson -- I wish I'd known you when you were alive.

Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Laurence J. Peter

-- Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Rita Rudner

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Robert Louis Stevenson

-- I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion.

Mark Twain -- Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.